February 22,2020

Hello to you, welcome to my good vybes with sham blog. Today I'll discuss about a very sensitive topic,which is about toxic relationships. Don’t forget to share and give me your feedback once you're done reading this article. Thank You!

TOXIC  RELATIONSHIPS

We have all heard/seen it on the news and social media about partners who are supposedly ‘in love’ killing their loved ones due to unsatisfactory reasons that do not justify the act of committing murder in the name of love. This act does not only affect the deceased, but also the society at large. These are the consequences of being involved in a toxic relationship. In case you are wondering what I exactly mean by the word toxic relationship, here is a small definition:

A toxic relationship is a relationship characterized by behavior on the part of the toxic partner that are emotionally and sometimes physically damaging to their partner. This turns out to damage the victim’s self esteem an as well as draining their energy. A toxic relationship comes hand in had with insecurities, self-centredness, dominance and control. 

 How exactly can u tell that you are in a toxic relationship?

a. When you feel like none of you can do anything right; whereby any efforts you try to make the relationship work ends up draining your energy and in some cases leads to unnecessary fights.

b. Two people in a relationship are supposed to build each other and bring out the best from each other. A toxic relationship does the opposite.

c. A toxic relationship is laced with dishonesty, ad every lie between partners weakens their trust for each other and ends up ruining their love bond.

d. “Anashindanga akichapwa lakini hatoki” A toxic relationship diminishes our self worth, whereby you feel like your partner no longer acknowledges your value, which makes it even harder to see it yourself.

 I did some research on the various reasons that make people indulge themselves in toxic relationships,and some without even realizing it, until the damage is done:

i. Peer pressure: this highly applies to the university students, whereby they find themselves under the pressure of dating, simply because their peers are doing it. Unfortunately, dating out of pressure from your friends leads to negative outcomes like cheating, which leads to heartbreak and sometimes to an extreme of ending somebody’s life.

ii. Social media also plays a role and I’ll tell you how by using myself as an example. As a lady, you will find yourself stalking celebs and socialites on Instagram and other social media platforms, digging into their love life and ‘perfect relationships’ through hashtags like #coupleGoals. In a way or another, you get physically attracted to this good looking man and rush into dating before getting to know each other better, simply because you want to prove that you also got taste. This is where the shoots and pictures come in, showing the world how you're in a happy relationship with this stranger, who in the end might cost you your life or break your heart.

iii. Our parents/guardians can also contribute to one indulging in a toxic relationship. Like for instance, growing up in a place where parents were always fighting and alcohol abuse, deprived children from getting enough attention. These children end up being too independent on their ‘love partners’ trying to make up for the love that they missed from their significant adults.

      'It is never too late to mend',said the English men. Being in a toxic relationship does not necessarily mean that you're stuck there till the end. You can get out by taking a break from the relationship and evaluating the positives and negatives of it, then if after talking to your partner brings no change, you have the right to walk out, knowing that you're doing it for your own good.